Tuesday, March 04, 2008

pretend, sleep.

i should be sleeping as i promised kevin i'd come to bed before 3 am, but. but. i want to pretend for a minute that i am not tiptoe psycho dread of phoenix's middle-of-the-night cry that he is teething again or sneezing his snot river in his sleep for his sweet cold he's been nursing . that i can sleep on my back tonight and not have a kid hanging from my tit. that i didn't spend all my free time today cleaning the kitchen. that i can read until 5 am and not have to get up at 8 to make phoenix breakfast. that i can go grab my lightbox and scan my slides. or work on the collage or the bird poems in my head, that for the last week i have heard and seen racing past me. i love all these things. all these responsibilities that come with parenting. parenting. wifeing.
but right now i need to pretend.

1 comment:

Jennifer Manzano. said...

Melissa, darling. Sometimes, stay up until 5 am reading even though you have to get up at 8. Or go out until 5 and get up at 8. (Sometimes). You'll be exhausted, yes. But when you go to sleep the next day, you'll feel far more accomplished and renewed, even in your lack of sleep. And maybe you'll have finished that book, or canvas, or that stack of slides. Sometimes, it's worth it.