"There is always some remedy, a herb against one disease, a root against another, a water against one, a stone against another, a mineral against one, a poison against another, a metal against one, something else against another."
"You should look upon man as a part of nature whose end lies in heaven. In the heavens you can see man, each part for itself; for man is made of heaven." ... "Heaven is man, and man is heaven, and all men together are the one heaven, and heaven is nothing but one man."
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
to my old friends: sadie, big red, and my redline BMX
The first time I rode my bike through Times Square with Critical Mass, I had this feeling that freedom was possible. It was wonderful, effervescent, dolce; muah, I smack my lips at it. I am so excited to read this in the news today. Thank you, Mayor Bloomberg, I always liked you.
the boob situation
i am afraid, yes, very afraid, that phoenix will NEVER stop breastfeeding. the boy is HOOKED on the boob, fo sho, never gonna give that shit up, rick astley style. i am starting to fret. i am starting to worry, just a little bit, that i may be BFing this kid at his damn wedding.
it's gotten to the point that i may just drop (in casual conversation, say, perhaps to a coworker) "i'm great, but my nipples are killing me." in response to, like, "hi." i also feel very selfish, naturally, cos what other emotions are moms "supposed" to feel when they consider themselves in the slightest bit. again, with the bitter comes the guilt. wtf chuck. guilt follows me like one of those invisible fucking dogs on a leash we had when we were kids. do you know what i am talking about, those "pets" that were actually just a leash, not really pets of any kind.
i don't know how they sold us that crap, but its insidious as hell, just like the guilt.
i am very desperate to go out and get drunk sans guilt. i am very desperate to shower, shit, shave, load the dishwasher, eat lunch, etc. sans guilt.
i was raised catholic but this is bullshit! i gave that shit up for lent when i was 14!
back to the boobs. it is not as if i even feel the kid is benefiting a great deal anymore from drinking my milk. i question whether he is, whether, in fact, anything the AAP says is true, or just a ploy to keep women busy.
maybe i'm looking for a way out.
it may be time to wean. it may very well be time.
it's gotten to the point that i may just drop (in casual conversation, say, perhaps to a coworker) "i'm great, but my nipples are killing me." in response to, like, "hi." i also feel very selfish, naturally, cos what other emotions are moms "supposed" to feel when they consider themselves in the slightest bit. again, with the bitter comes the guilt. wtf chuck. guilt follows me like one of those invisible fucking dogs on a leash we had when we were kids. do you know what i am talking about, those "pets" that were actually just a leash, not really pets of any kind.
i don't know how they sold us that crap, but its insidious as hell, just like the guilt.
i am very desperate to go out and get drunk sans guilt. i am very desperate to shower, shit, shave, load the dishwasher, eat lunch, etc. sans guilt.
i was raised catholic but this is bullshit! i gave that shit up for lent when i was 14!
back to the boobs. it is not as if i even feel the kid is benefiting a great deal anymore from drinking my milk. i question whether he is, whether, in fact, anything the AAP says is true, or just a ploy to keep women busy.
maybe i'm looking for a way out.
it may be time to wean. it may very well be time.
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